The One I Never Wanted To Lose

She came into life very quietly,

Without warning, without expectations.

It began as nothing and slowly became everything,

Her ordinary moments turned into memories.

She came into my life like peace

Just her presence made me feel alive.

All that was ordinary

Now it has become extraordinary.

Life felt beautiful and meaningful,

She brought calm and excitement into my world.

My love for her was both peaceful and overwhelming

That is the puzzle of my love.

My desire to see her happy,

It is the most beautiful part of loving her.

My love was wanting to see her smile,

And be the reason her day feels brighter.

I opened my hearts without knowing future,

Then I realised some risks are worth taking.

Choosing her with my whole heart felt like madness,

A beautiful madness that is true and real.

She is my light when darkness appears,

My peace when the world becomes chaos.

It began without any promises,

And she became someone I never want to lose.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

Life Doesn’t Go On Track

Sometimes things don't go our way,

And nothing good shows up all day.

We try so hard, but still feel stuck,

It's like we have run out of all our luck.

We wait and push with all our might,

But success seems far from sight.

It' s a tough journey in life's road,

With big dreams, heavy as a load.

But giving up is a hard pill,

As regret will chase us down the hill.

Most don't fail because we fall,

We just stop trying, that is all.

Some strong people made it with great fight,

Many others lose and they feel "I'll quit".

Success has its own time, we can't see,

It's not as fast as we want it to be.

Our plans may not go as we dreamed,

But life works out, though not as it seemed.

If we are still here, then we have a chance,'

To stand back and up, to try and dance.

Tomorrow might just bring the light,

That changes wrong and makes it right.

So don't give up, once more you have to try,

Keep walking forward and never say goodbye.

By

Sanjji-Paul Arvind

She Is Connected To My Roots

I was trapped in her eyelids.

Every time she blinked.

My soul screamed every day,

Waiting and watching her way.

Before her, there were thousands,

My wandering eyes were cherished.

But after her, my sight for others,

Quietly perished.

Only her image stays,

The one I nourish.

My love still blooms within,

As it continues to flourish.

I thought she was just another flower,

That blooms and withers with time.

Later, I came to know,

She had become a part of my roots.

She planted something inside me,

And I nurtured it daily.

Now it stands fully grown,

Yet she is not here to see it bloom.

I wanted a place in her hearts shadow,

I never wanted the world to know.

Her presence felt orchestrated,

As if the universe had planned to shape me.

Time barged into my life,

Took her out without asking.

What left was never meant to stay,

She came only to shape and mold me.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

I'm Your Frankenstein

When all my emotions died,

You gave a new life, and I tried.

I saw the best in you,

But I showed the worst of me, no one knew.

You put every part of me together,

Gave my dying heart a chance, for better.

For this new life, all it knows is you,

Yet I wander, lost with no clue.

You left me when I finally felt alive,

With a new kind of love, but I still grieve.

I felt alone not knowing what to do,

With the feelings that were born for you.

I am trapped in between my heart and mind,

As I never knew my heart could dream so blind.

What my heart dreams, mind cannot accept,

What the mind dreams, my heart rejects.

Now I am lost in what you created,

No matter how I try, I feel defeated.

My parts no longer seem like mine

And I now live like Frankenstein.

Wandering and searching for the one,

Who created a monster that roams alone.

In search of his home

Your heart is my eternal flame.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

I Love Her Bearing Her Pain

She was someone I always knew,

As the light in her eyes brightened my world.

If my soul had a fragrance,

It would smell like hers.

My bravest and most beautiful mistake,

Is loving her with all my heart.

If only she knew how difficult it was,

To love her deeply and never tell her.

I still hold her quietly,

Longing inside me with pain

I buried the screams of my heart,

So that she would never feel hurt.

Loving her made me feel alive,

Even when it caused me hurt.

Her peace mattered more to me,

Than her presence in my life.

I thought her thoughts will calm down,

I never tried to stop them.

But they kept growing and growing,

Now they stand strong and unrootable,

I loved her in a world,

Where I had no place to stay.

So now I love her quietly,

From a distance, carrying all the pain.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

The Best Time of My Life

I think of you from day to night,

In every dark, you are my light.

Your happiness is my only priority,

Which I will do as my duty.

Some may say I love your face,

Or your sweet eyes, you gentle grace,

But I love your talks, your caring way,

Every small word you used to say.

You were the first I truly loved,

A silent feeling I always held.

I kept hidden inside my heart,

As I knew you were my part.

I stayed quiet to protect your smile,

Watching your joy from far all the while.

So, don't fear what I say today,

You are the one I wished would stay.

See my love from the deepest core,

Once felt, you will want it more.

Was it too much, or was it true?

A question will rise within you.

For eternity this love will stay,

Strong and pure in every way.

Even if you are not here, it's still fine,

For loving you was my life's best time.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

Mirror, Mirror in My Heart

Mirror, Mirror in my heart

Who is the most beautiful girl in this world?

It did not even think for second,

And showed her reflection boldly.

Mirror, Mirror in my heart,

Whose smile can stop a heartbeat?

It showed me your smile,

And my heart skipped one beat.

Mirror, Mirror in my heart,

Whose eyes shine brighter than the stars?

It showed me the spark in her eyes,

And said, it is always hers.

Mirror, Mirror in my heart,

Who glows brightly even in the dark?

It showed your radiant face,

Ans said she glows like the moon.

Mirror, Mirror in my heart,

Who has the sweetest voice among all?

It laughed and softly said,

It belongs only to her.

Mirror, Mirror in my heart,

Who has the purest heart and kindest soul?

Again and again,

It only said her name.

Mirror, Mirror in my heart,

Who is the biggest fool in this world,

It quietly showed my face.

And said…

"Becasue you fell in love so deeply...

And you keep falling for her every single day,

And I haven’t seen anyone like you”

I smiled and said,

If loving her is foolishness,

Then I am happy to be the biggest fool on earth.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

The Loneiness She Left Behind

Even in crowded rooms

I feel a certain kind of loneliness.

That lingers, I cannot explain it.

It does not shout, but whispers.

We fought often, not because love faded,

Perhaps that is how it was upgraded.

We fought, we didn't talk, we didn't see,

Yet in those moments where love quietly grew.

All my feelings for her,

Were never meant to be a performance.

To be appreciated by an audience,

But a divine devotion meant to endure.

She wasn't just a normal person,

She became a chapter in my life.

I thought she would stay in my story,

Yet suddenly, she became a closed chapter.

I will plant my love

In the quiet soil of time,

And one day, that small seed

Will become a deep-rooted tree.

I feel myself walking away from places,

Where I don't find her traces.

I search for her footprints,

Just to know where she is.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

Living With Her Memories

When I wanted to share my life with her,

She became all my beautiful memories.

But she pushed me away, making me feel worthless,

In my heart, that brought deep sadness

So I started living with memories,

With the pictures in my mind that remind me of her.

I carry her not like a burden,

But like something heavy that I still value.

Now I spend my nights thinking about our talks,

Wondering with her what mistakes I made.

I only wanted something true and real,

It is not weakness, it is just my feelings.

The more I try to think of her,

The more pain I endure.

I am living with her memories,

But she lives her own life without remorse.

I feel happy with the past with her,

And I want her to be happy with a good future.

She will stay close in my heart,

Even when she is far away.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

Incomplete Love

What do I call her, life or death?,

The pain of birth comes once,

And the pain of death also comes once,

But her pain is a routine I bear each day.

My incomplete love never dies,

It keeps me alive like a punishment

Every day I lose and still live,

Slowly erasing from within.

I breathe, I laugh, and I go to work,

I stand among people and smile.

But inside, a part of her is still burning,

And my soul feels like it is on fire.

I live in the shadow of someone,

Who is no longer with me.

Death destroys me from the outside,

Her unfinished love destroys from within.

She was someone I never had before

Her heart was a quiet and peaceful place

Where I wished to rest and for comfort

Not only love but a safe haven

When I was close to her,

I believed she could be mine.

But I let her go, not because love was absent,

It was the purest proof of its presence.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

The Web Of Fate

I don't give out tickets to my heart,

It's a sacred space, reserved for only a few.

She not only had access to my heart,

But my mind, my body, and my soul too.

One day she left and locked the doors,

Of my happiness, taking the keys with her.

She came to give a final blow.

When I was already down in life.

I loved her so much,

That I forget about myself.

To fight for her or to let her go,

Maybe fate meant to let her go, I don't know.

My pain is not weakness,

It's honesty rejected

I changed to be with her,

And she changed not to be with me.

In choosing her, I lost myself,

As I did over and over again.

Still, I choose her for rest of my life,

I don't know why, even in pain and grief.

The woman who filled my soul

Was never meant to be with me.

No matter where her body wanders,

The web of fate will return her soul to me.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

Her Memories Hurt In Silence

Her fingerprints are on my broken parts,

I thought she came to mend them, but she didn't.

She nurtured all the dying pieces within,

And when they started to bloom, she cut them down.

My heart had no license,

To ride towards hers.

Still I went, and every step was a punishment,

And it cost me everything inside.

The road I thought would lead to happiness,

Led me straight to its end.

There I found a resting place,

I built a grave to bury all my emotions.

If only she could understand my mind,

She would weep for what I feel.

I have built a graveyard,

For the words I never said to her.

She entered a room within me,

That even I rarely visit.

A room where I sit with my own shadow,

And speak when the world becomes heavy.

Every night passes in pain,

I beg my heart to let her go.

Every night it refuses; she stays alive,

In memories that hurt in silence, that never sleep.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

Her Love Floats With Her Mood

With her, I never finished loving,

Our story ended before it could begin.

We both felt something special,

But life arrived with fear and ego to end it.

When the hell failed in torturing me,

It sent her into my life like love.

But when I truly wanted her,

She left me alone with pain.

Her silence hit me like a thunderstorm,

Her distance burned like a volcano.

Thoughts of her make my heart heavy,

And I sit quietly, bearing all within.

If there were ever a fight,

Between Me and my love for her,

I will happily choose to lose,

So my love for her stays alive.

The sad part is not in our past,

It is the present moment.

I still love her, even without her,

And I don't have a reason to explain why.

In the end, I loved her from my heart,

But she loved me when she felt like it.

My love was constant and true,

Hers changed with her moods.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

Nature's Punishment

I got lost in her eyes,

They were deeper than the oceans.

I lost myself in her hair,

It was dark like the night sky.

The light in her heart,

Did not shine upon my love.

She kept her feelings hidden,

Never wanted me to know.

My heart no longer is at peace,

Since the day she left her place.

The wind reminds of her scent,

And the sunshine of her warmth.

May be she was only for memories,

Not for my present or my future.

I could have escaped from a thunder strike,

But I got struck by the spark in her eyes.

Even if there were thousands of me,

All of them would still love her.

And if there were thousands of her,

Still I would choose her alone.

I lived with her in stolen moments,

I got caught by nature.

Now I live with this punishment,

To stay away from her in this life.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

Love Without Victory and Defeat

I wasn't playing a game,

to win or to lose her.

I wasn't making a transaction,

of give and take.

It was love,

And in love you only give.

True love stays forever,

whether someone stays or leaves.

You don't fall in or fall out,

It isn't a place for you to get up.

You simply love, from the heart,

truly and eternally.

Pure love says, I need you,

But still I don't want you.

To love someone is not to need them,

but to let them live their life.

No demands, no expectation,

and no promises of forever.

Some come, and some go,

Some leave memories to cherish.

Even when your world is burning,

you still give them warmth from it.

That is how love feels,

To set free what you hold dear.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

She Washed Her Hands Away In My Blood

I talk to her every day,

In my dreams and in reality.

She lives in all the places I wish,

And I don't need her physical presence.

If only she calls out my name,

I would forget the whole world and go insane.

I never wanted her to stay,

But I hope she will accept my heart's offer.

I wait for her signs,

Before my time here ends and I exit.

That I might hear from her,

When she still can.

I have been alone,

But I never felt lonely.

After she came and left,

Even with the whole world, I now feel lonely.

Was she skilled in breaking hearts?

She broke mine so perfectly.

Untamed by any, but broken by one,

Now shattered into pieces.

Memories of her rejection haunt me,

And my nights are filled only with nightmares.

She washed her hands of the relationship,

From the blood, bleeding from my heart.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

She Lives In My Silence

She walks beside me as silence,

I do not see her, nor do I hear her.

But her presence is always felt,

As she lives inside my heart as it’s beat.

At first, I thought it was just physical,

Like others say, maybe some inner chemical.

Giving my heart a new excitement,

But later I realised it was divine.

Some of her memories make me laugh,

All those small fights we had.

Turning our faces away in anger,

And then getting back together again.

Whenever I pause to think about her,

I feel something I cannot explain.

The time we spent together,

The love and care we shared, it feels alive.

She stays in my dreams forever,

A world for her I created within.

I can see her calm face clearly,

And still hear her whispers of my name.

This is the beauty of my love,

It just does not end easily.

She never truly left my life,

She walks beside me as silence.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

All That I Felt With Her

I haven't smelled a sweeter fragrance,

That which comes from her skin.

I haven't known a better aroma,

That which spreads from her hair.

I haven't seen a sparkle,

Like that shines from her eyes.

I haven't seen a radiance,

Like that glows on her face

I haven't witnessed kindness,

Like that which comes from her smile.

I haven't felt the strength,

Like that which comes from holding her hands.

I haven't felt the calmness,

Like when I feel her around.

I haven't felt so much love,

As it flows from my heart for her.

I haven't been happier,

That I was when I was with her.

I haven't known hurt and pain,

Like the one she gave me when leaving.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

ஒவ்வொரு வாழ்விலும் நாம் சந்திப்போம்

நான் அவளை ஒரு கனவு உலகில் பார்த்தேன்,

ஆன்மா நம் உடலுக்கு முன்பாகச் செல்லும் இடம்.

அங்கே, நாம் முன்பு பல முறை சந்தித்தது போல,

பழைய வாழ்க்கை மீண்டும் புதியதாக உணர்கிறது,

அவள் எல்லா வாழ்க்கையிலும்

எனக்குத் தெரிந்த ஒருவரைப் போல நின்றாள்,

என் மனம் மறந்துவிட்டாலும்

என் இதயம் நினைவில் வைத்திருக்கும் ஒரு நினைவைப் போல.

அந்தக் கனவு உலகில்,

நாம் ஒருபோதும் பிரிந்ததில்லை என்பதை உணர்ந்தேன் .

நமது கடந்தவாழ்க்கை அனைத்தும் ஒன்றாக இணைந்திருந்தன,

அன்பும் அங்கேயே இருந்தது.

நான் விழித்தபோது, கண்ணீரினால் நனைத்தேன்,

ஆனால் மனதில் ஒரு அமைதியும் இருந்தது.

நாம் இந்த வாழ்க்கையில் வெகு தொலைவில் இருந்தாலும்,

நாம் என்றும் இணைந்திருப்பதை உணர்ந்தேன்.

நாம் பல வாழ்க்கையில் சந்தித்திருக்கலாம்,

நாம் ஒருவரையொருவர் இழந்து

மீண்டும் மீண்டும்

கண்டுபிடித்திருக்கலாம்.

அவளைச் சந்திக்க பல பிறவிகள் காத்திருந்து

மீண்டும் நான் சந்திப்பேன்.

அதுவரை, நான் அவளை

என் கனவுகளில் பார்ப்பேன்.

ஏனென்றால் ஆன்மாக்களின் அந்த அமைதியான இடத்தில்,

நான் ஒரு உண்மையை அறிந்தேன்.

நாம் எத்தனை முறை சந்தித்துப் பிரிந்தாலும்,

என் ஆன்மா எப்போதும் அவளைக் கண்டுபிடிக்கும்,

ஒவ்வொரு வாழ்விலும் நான் அவளை ஒரு முறை சந்திப்பேன்.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

My Love In Astral World

In a sky crowded with stars,

She remains the only moon

In a world with billions of faces,

Hers remain the one which captured my heart.

When my body sleeps, the heart begins to speak,

My mind goes silent, frequency becomes loud.

And I connect to feel her presence,

Her warmth, her touch and her energy.

Souls don't sleep, they remain connected,

In the world of souls forever.

Even when I sleep here,

My soul loves her in the astral world.

There creates a frequency between two souls,

That I truly felt between us.

She can lie with words,

But her vibes can never hide the truth.

A place where there is no fear,

No pride, and there is no resistance.

Even when my hands don't touch or hold her,

My spirit is always with her spirit.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

In The Secret Garden

My mind sometimes goes naughty,

Thinking of playful acts, dirty.

It wants to visit the secret garden,

Where fresh roses bloom in their glory, like eden.

Nectar-like falls I wish to drink,

Till I am full, I wish to sink.

My lips whisper secrets in her ear,

My beard and moustache tremble with cheer.

The skin becomes a tender, yielding ground,

My eagerness starts to move all around.

The rhythm becomes slow, then fast and wild,

Every touch feels gentle and mild.

The air is warm, the night remains sweet,

Our heartbeats sync, our vibrations meet.

My fingers search, what words cannot say,

Lighting fire that lights our way.

Soft hands wander to tease and play,

When our eyes meet, chase the night away.

The world fades, only we remain,

Lost in a union of gentle pain.

Time passes and the world feels small,

Every touch is a joyful call.

In the secret garden, we feel free,

Playing with love, just her and me.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

My Question to Nature

When she walked away from my heart,

Left behind a haunted place with her ghost.

Where she and her memories stay,

When they appear, my whole world shakes.

Was is it a bet between her and nature

To break my heart into pieces?

Or a silent challenge,

To see how deeply I would fall?

Fate allowed me to love her,

Though she was never truly mine.

Why did I feel the comfort,

If there was no tomorrow for us to find.

My heart was played by destiny,

Just to taste her happiness.

Even fate took her away from me,

Yet she resides within my heart.

Now she live within as my feelings,

In the memories she left behind.

In the quiet corners of my heart,

Her magic will stay forever.

The distance keeps increasing,

And my love for her is growing.

Why did the universe give us a chance,

If it never meant to make it true.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

She Was A Miracle

When she came into my life

She made me believe in miracles

Maybe they were not colorful

But they gave me comfort

I didn't just choose her,

I gave her a part of my heart.

I didn’t know she wasn't ready to hold it,

And that made my heart feel pain.

I was happy while pouring out my love,

But the pain was too much when it was returned.

Maybe I gave her too much,

And she never knew how to hold it.

She made me realise my worth,

Through her absence, through her silence.

She made me realise what is means,

To give, and how much it can hurt.

After her, I don't fear anything,

If I can bear her pain, I can bear any.

I cared so deeply that I never wanted,

Even the thought of her in another's mind.

She still lives in the same world as me,

And breathes the same air.

The same sunlight touches us both,

And one day, the same earth will consume us too.

Till Then

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.

My Heart She Is

Her thoughts rise in me like sudden waves,

Even her pain feels beautiful to me.

My heart beats as if it knows her,

I want to hold and love her in every way I can.

When she is fills my thoughts,

The whole world turns to dust.

I Don't know how to tell her,

That she alone is enough for me in this world.

She has made places in me,

Places I never knew existed.

She affects me in ways I cannot explain,

As my mind replays her voice and her smile.

Even when we are miles apart,

I always carry her within me.

Her aroma, her laughter, her presence,

Linger even when she stays afar.

I knew she resides in my heart,

But now I realise she is my heart.

She is my thoughts and desire,

My comfort, my chaos and my fire.

I don't miss her, but her presence,

Yet I don't need her near to love her.

I always imagine her being happy,

Hoping she is treasured as deeply as I treasure her.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.