I know she was not afraid of love,
She was scared of getting hurt again.
She smiles like everything is fine outside,
but inside she still carries old pain.
Maybe that is why she pushed me away.
Sometimes when we became close,
I could feel her heart becoming soft.
For some moments she let me in,
like she finally felt safe with me.
But then suddenly, she went distant again.
I never thought she was confused.
I felt she was only protecting herself.
Maybe love started feeling dangerous to her,
because someone before made her cry deeply.
And now her heart does not trust easily.
She wanted connection, I could see that.
She wanted someone to stay beside her.
But giving full love scared her silently,
like one day everything would break again.
So she stayed half close, half far away.
Her charm was beautiful, I won't lie.
But sometimes it felt like a wall too.
She cared for me in small ways,
yet stopped before becoming completely open.
Maybe she feared losing herself in love.
And still, I stayed there loving her fully.
Waiting near the door of her heart quietly.
Hoping one day she would stop running,
and believe she deserves real love too.
Because I never wanted to hurt her.
I just wanted her to know one thing,
not everyone comes to leave or break her.
Some people come to hold her pain softly,
to love her without making her feel small.
I wish one day she truly believes that.
By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.
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