My pleading voice and action,
my kneeling was not desperation,
but a call to recognition,
that my love is always devotion.
The timeline, and the person, I grieve are gone,
my consciousness is stuck in an expired time.
I run to the past hoping for comfort,
even when the ending is already written.
She was with me in the past,
and now the past doesn't exist.
I am walking through a graveyard,
trying to breathe life into corpses.
I fell in love with her soul,
where I once saw real beauty.
And everything that carried it,
became beautiful by default.
I romanticize a hallucinated history,
ignoring what I can build for the future.
Like the waters still in pond,
when it doesn't move it becomes toxic.
Spending hours inside the past,
bearing pain for what no longer exists.
Time with her is permanently closed,
she has become a stranger now.
By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.
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