The Thoughts of Her Consume Me

She absorbs my energy,

even while staying apart.

It's draining all my love,

leaving me like sugarcane bagasse

I send her love from my mind,

through some unseen frequency.

I'm energetically lusting after her,

replaying the past,

imagining a future that no longer exists.

I pour my life force onto her,

through my thoughts and my emotions,

through an invisible cord,

that carries my energy when I think of her.

I am not loving her anymore,

I am leaking my energy into her.

Her fantasies and dreams cost me my power,

as every obsessive thoughts drain me.

Each moment I spend mentally merged with her,

who isn't with me physically.

I am giving away the fuel

that my body needs to heal and create a real life.

I used to call this love,

I used to call this devotion,

I used to call it "holding space" for her,

but my body is exhausted.

This energetic lust,

it's invisible and dangerous.

I am losing everything, my strength, my health,

my clarity in life, and my purpose,

without ever touching her.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind

**Do not judge my life based on my poems; My Poems and my life are 2 different things.