I Love My Version of Her

I am living in the maybes,

my brain continues writing after she left,

trying to finish the story on its own,

because it never really got an ending,

A future I never got to see,

and those maybes haunt me

more than reality ever could.

I never finished loving her completely,

because it ended just before it started.

She felt it, I felt it,

but life got in the way.

My relationship never truly ended,

it remained unfinished.

So I live somewhere between

what was and what could have been.

I am still unable to let go,

because what happened was imperfect

and I never got the chance

to prove my truth.

Now I feel stuck without direction.

My mind replays everything that happened,

trying to understand what went wrong.

And somehow, I still love the version of her,

that never fully existed.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind