A Part of Me Still Chooses Her

I thought she came to end something,

but she started something

that will stay in me forever.

I walked away from her,

even when I could never unlove her,

not with anger, not with hatred.

Now I carry pain, I never caused,

because I was treated like an enemy,

just for loving truly.

Maybe peace felt stranger to her,

maybe my calm love felt boring,

or maybe she was not used to it.

My honesty became boring,

my loyalty became controlling

and my kindness became manipulation.

My heart does not understand logic,

even when my mind knows

she will never come back.

My mind knows she is not mine,

but feelings does not listen easily,

they dance, even for the thoughts of her.

I stay stuck,

between letting go and holding on,

because my heart still loves her.

Even when I know nothing will change,

even when I know I cannot have her,

a small part of me, still chooses her

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind