Every time she comes close,
my dopamine rises,
as though my heart remembers
what happiness feels like.
The more I wished for her happiness,
the deeper I fell in love with her,
until my own heart learned
to rejoice only when hers did too.
Her happiness became essential to my peace.
Every time I saw her smile,
it felt like light entering my own life.
When she was sad or silent,
shadows spread across my soul.
My heart began to live
beyond the boundaries of my body,
for its deepest joy
had found a home in hers.
Every night, after I close my eyes,
my soul travels to meet hers.
There, I exist more purely beyond longing,
beyond the needs of the flesh,
and even in that form,
I still love her.
My twenty-one grams of soul
loves her fifty-kilogram existence,
every smile, every scar,
every curve, every rise and fall.
In a world where disappearing is easy
and commitment is rare,
she walked away from the one person
who would have stayed.
I was defeated every time,
I fought for us, that only I believed in.
In the end,
I stopped telling my side of the story.
The gods know the truth,
and that is all I need.
She may never know
how completely I loved her,
but somewhere beyond words,
I hope my soul always will.
By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
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