My Beautiful Disaster

Every time I stand in front of a mirror,

I see only her reflection.

So I look away,

because the fire in her gave me warmth,

but its heat burned my heart.

Sometimes it hurts just to breathe,

because I love her a little more each day,

even though she may not feel the same.

I kept telling myself

that every wound was worth it,

that every pain had a purpose,

because nothing valuable comes easily.

So I waited for a version of her

that never came.

The same thing that set me free

was the same thing that broke me.

She is my beautiful disaster.

My heart still beats

to her song of love and pain.

I search for her

between the darkness and the light.

Her beauty is as constant as the moon,

and I could never let go of her,

no matter what.

I want to hold her in my arms.

In the warmth of her embrace,

I would simply melt.

I want to cover her skin

with gentle kisses,

each one a promise

to love her for as long as I live.

I want to spend the rest of my life

finding new ways to love her.

She will always be

my first thought every morning

and my last smile

before I close my eyes at night.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind