Pain is Not Proof Of Love

Her absence felt like the end of my world,

and her silence felt like she had left me behind.

I thought my obsession was love,

love overflowing from a heart that cared too much.

Later, I understood

it was not always love.

Sometimes it was fear

holding me tightly.

I wanted her deeply,

but I forgot that love also means

respecting her choice.

I miss her,

but I do not chase her.

I love her,

but I can still let her go.

Because sometimes what we call love

is also grief for a future

that never happened.

I was not only holding on to her.

I was holding on to a whole life

I had created it in my mind.

A life where she stayed.

A life where everything worked out.

A life that never got the chance to become real.

I thought losing her meant losing myself.

But slowly, I understood

that love should not ask me

to destroy myself to prove it.

My love became quieter.

It stopped begging.

It stopped chasing.

It stopped holding on

with both hands.

I can choose her

without losing myself.

I can miss her

without running after her.

I can sit alone

without becoming bitter.

And now I know,

pain is not proof of love,

and suffering is not devotion.

Sometimes love means staying.

Sometimes love means letting go.

And sometimes,

the deepest love

is learning how to remain whole

when the person you love

is no longer beside you.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind