My inner world had never been visible
for it was carefully shielded.
She felt like home.
Her presence kept my life steady
in ways I had never known before.
I didn’t know how to receive her love,
and she left before she could stay long enough.
My grief of her has transformed
as an ongoing devotion.
A well-guarded heart found a home,
but failed to receive it fully,
lost it, and only then understood
that the greatest loss wasn't the past,
it was the future that would never exist.
I realised in the emptiness she left,
the weight she carried in my everyday life.
Her absence revealed,
how beautiful the past truly was.
The pain of her connection
refuses to fade.
The memory of togetherness
is the only comforting truth.
Even when the whole world is moving forward,
my heart remains trapped in yesterday.
With her, I caught glimpses of a happy future,
one that never arrived
and never will.
Of
Sanji-Paul Arvind
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