Searching for My Place in Her World

Every time she stands in front of a mirror,

I hope she thinks of me.

Because everything

I have ever said about her

was never just praise.

It was only the truth.

If she could see herself through my eyes,

she would know why I love her so much.

She would see that every flaw

she worries about means nothing to me,

and every little thing about her is beautiful.

Because all I have ever seen in her was the truth.

How lucky are the tiny parts

that makes her who she is.

Twenty-eight trillion cells,

seven trillions of nerves

carrying life through her body.

Five liters of blood

keeping her heart beating.

A hundred thousand of strands of hair,

Four hundred and twenty tiny lashes

Six hundred brow hairs,

With twenty-five thousand across her skin.

Fifty kilograms on the scale,

but look closer at the math of her.

Thirty kilos of a sea,

held together by seven kilos of bone.

She carries a heart no heavier than an apple,

wrapped in two kilos of skin,

moving through the world on fifteen kilos of pure devotion.

Every piece of her belongs somewhere.

Every little thing finds its place.

Even a little dust finds a place upon her.

But I, who loves every part of her,

still searching for mine.

And sometimes I wonder,

Is there a place for me?

A place close to her heart

that has become my whole world.

My love is not perfect.

It makes mistakes, it waits for too long.

It hurts more than it should.

But it is real.

And because it is real, it is beautiful.

Sometimes I ask myself,

What greater punishment could I give myself?

For loving her so much that she will never know

and how much does she mean to me?

The pain is hard to bear.

The silence never ends.

Still, every day,

I make the same choice again, and again.

So, I punish myself by loving her,

a little more than yesterday,

And tomorrow, I know I will love her even more.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind