Holding On to Her

I am holding onto someone

who brings pain to my heart,

even when I know

letting go would heal me.

I am choosing her familiar pain,

over the peace I have never known.

That peace was meant to heal me,

but even pain carries her memory,

so, I am holding on to her.

I love her so much,

that I feel jealous of the earth.

At least she walks on it evey day,

while even her shadow refuses to fall upon me.

There are several things on earth,

that are very lucky to feel her.

Unlike this soul,

while it is unable to even feel her breath.

She took my soul away,

as if it always belonged to her,

but she never knew.

She was everything my heart wanted,

her comfort, her warmth, and even her fire.

When she left,

she did not just walk away.

She burned everything

I had built inside me.

Now I leave my hope for the time.

If we are meant to meet again,

the universe will find a way.

Until then, I will learn to love

with the love that still remains.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind