My Invisible Wounds

I cannot unlove the only person

whose presence once made

my heart leap with joy,

who carried me into peaceful sleep

where beautiful dreams waited.

I'll always love her,

whether she ever knows or not.

Time may change everything else,

but this never will.

Only the gods know whether I'll find her

in another lifetime,

or if this one is our final goodbye.

Even the shadow of her memory

still captivates me,

following me through every moment

I cannot escape.

I am surviving with what

what I once believed would destroy me.

The weight of her memory

rests heavily upon my heart.

This life's road stretches farther

than hope can see,

and some days the pain

is more than I can carry.

My silence is a prison,

her distance is my punishment,

a quiet cruelty that wounds

both my heart and my soul.

Still, I long to meet her

just onece more,

if only she would reveal

her true face,

stripped of every mask,

free from every worldly disguise,

showing me the person she truly is.

Perhaps then I would finally know

whether I fell in love with who she is,

or with the woman

she kept hidden from everyone.

Until that answer finds me,

I will carry these invisible wounds,

not because they refuse to heal,

but because they were left

by the only love

I never wished to lose.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind