my real fights with myself.
How many times I have held my own hands,
which they always wanted to hold hers.
How many times I have stopped
my heart from jumping
whenever she was near.
How many times I have closed my eyes
whenever she smiled,
so, i wouldn't watch her lips
when mine wanted to kiss hers.
Every time she was close,
my body wanted to hug her tight,
and I can't explain
how difficult it was to stop myself.
Somehow, the urge to reach her,
has finally gone.
As her silence has me now
and I stay where I am.
I still remember the way
she treated me for the first time
and the way she treated me the last time.
And it is strange,
how a connection that lasted
such a short time can leave behind
so much to remember.
It is never just love
It was never just pain,
but it was painful love.
By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
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