She Felt Like Home

The universe gave me a choice…

Happiness, to love her

and have her beside me

for a few days,

or

the pain of loving her

while staying away from her for years.

I could have chosen a few days of happiness.

Instead, I chose the pain.

Because somehow, loving her for years

felt more beautiful than having her

for only a few days.

Every time I tried to mend my broken heart,

someone came along and broke it again.

But after she broke it,

I stopped trying to fix it.

Not because I stopped believing in love,

but because I no longer wanted

to open my heart to someone else.

My heart had filters.

Not everyone could enter.

Those who did were mesmerized by its beauty,

but somehow,

most of them still found a way to leave it broken.

I gave access to many

simply because I liked them.

I trusted too quickly.

I forgave too endlessly.

I mistook familiarity for loyalty.

I thought knowing someone

meant they knew me.

I thought staying close

meant they would stay true.

Life taught me otherwise.

Not everyone who enters your life

deserves a permanent place in it.

Some people are visitors.

Some are lessons.

Some are wounds

disguised as love.

And then she came.

I didn't give her a place

that already existed.

I created a new one.

Because I noticed her energy.

Her intentions, her consistency.

But more than anything,

her character.

There was something about her

that didn't ask me to lower my guard.

Something about her

that made trust feel natural.

She didn't feel like someone I had just met.

She felt familiar.

Like a soul I had somehow known

long before our paths crossed.

Like a place I had been searching for

without knowing its name.

She felt like home.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind