The Power To Destroy Me

I loved her more than my own peace,

but she took that love and used it against me.

She looked into my eyes,

and told me she was different.

She made me believe

she would never hurt me the way others had..

But she did.

And somehow it hurt even more this time,

as I truly loved her.

I knew she was hurting me,

I knew it and still chose to stay.

She saw my tears,

and how my love trembled,,

my sleepless nights

the way my heart fell apart.

She knew all of it

and still chose to hurt me.

And somehow I became

the one saying sorry,

sorry for loving her,

sorry for feeling too much.

Everytime she broke me,

I tried to fix myself.

And every time I blamed myself

for the things she chose to do.

Little by little everything became a mess

I didn't know how to escape.

She never loved the way I did,

Maybe she just loved knowing I would be easy,

knowing she could hurt me

and I would still come back.

I felt her rejection

in every part of my body.

She made me feel invisible in her world

where I once thought I mattered.

She made my love and all the

care I gave her feel like a joke.

And slowly I started

believing that maybe less

was all I deserved from her.

Sometimes I wondered

did she knew exactly what she was doing

did she see me in pain

but simply didn't care.

And the worst part?

It all came from her..

From the face I admired

from the voice I could listen for hours.

from the person I trusted more than anyone.

She was the only person

I ever gave the power to destroy me.

And she did without mercy.

I kept giving her the broken pieces

of my heart, hoping that one day she would

finally hold them with care,

but she never did.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind