She broke my heart once,
but in loving her,
I broke my own heart a thousand times.
Her pain has become something
my heart has learned to live on.
And somehow, I still feel the emptiness
of having her beside me,
even when she isn't there.
Every time I tell myself
that my life should move forward,
my heart pulls me back
to thoughts of her.
I wish I could be like a river,
always moving,
never looking back
at the water that has already passed.
But my mind is like an ocean,
and her memories are its waves.
They keep coming back…
rising, falling, smooth, rough,
never truly disappearing.
Now I live in a strange place
where I want to see her
and, at the same time,
never want to see her again.
Both feelings scare me
more than I can explain.
I feel alone without her,
but somehow, I am not lonely.
Because I wrote her
into my existence so deeply
that even in her absence,
her memories stay with me.
Maybe she is no longer part of my life,
but she is still part of me.
By
Sanji-Paul Arvind
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