When I See Her Name

Every time her name popped up

on my screen for a message or a call,

there was a different kind of beat

in my heart,

no matter what mood I was in.

But those moments changed everything.

There were so many times

my face would blush and I would smile,

just because her name appeared on my screen.

Now I avoid her,

because my feelings for her have grown stronger.

I will never know what could happen

if I see her again.

At times, I even avoided looking into her eyes,

because every time I did,

I felt something deeper

that I could never explain.

She will never know

that I died that night,

when she decided she no longer

needed me in her life.

Now I just wake up every day,

but not to live life fully.

By

Sanji-Paul Arvind